It is always exciting to hear when someone writes a new book about their experience of the loss of a twin. Mary R. Morgan’s book came out in May this year and when my copy arrived in my mailbox I could not wait to find the time and space to settle down and read her account of the loss of her twin brother Michael. Michael had mysteriously disappeared off the coast of southern New Guinea some 50 years earlier and Mary has written the story of her journey through this loss in the subsequent years. I knew it would be the kind of book that once you opened it, you would not want to put it down again until the very last page. I was not wrong! I started reading one afternoon, I was early to pick up the kids from school and I got a good way into it but I knew I should have waited until I had more time. The next time I opened it up I read until the end.
This is a story of loss, the long denial of the loss of a twin, the acknowledgement of his death, the allowing of him to be free, and then finally, the discovery that he had always been part of her journey in the end. It is an honest account of what this twinship and loss had meant in Mary’s life and how it had played out throughout it in the relationships around her. It is the story of the slow process of putting back together, of re-discovery and of building a new relationship with a twin brother.
Mary writes: “My own bereavement was unnecessarily long and protracted. Especially as a twin, I found no healing in separation. In making new connection, we break the isolation. Sharing our experiences with others, we form community. Our arms make a circle that can hold the loss, allowing it to be met safely, allowing for understanding, for listening, for being heard, for being present. In connection, we can bear witness to the necessary process of falling apart and the small steps of coming back together into new form and into new life. By writing and sharing this book, I take my place and invite you into a larger circle of healing connection.”
I believe this book will help those who have experienced the loss of their twin most especially but it is for anyone who has been shattered by deep personal grief, those for whom their experience has been unacknowledged or misunderstood and it will help in the journey of putting oneself back together.
MARY R. MORGAN is a licensed psychotherapist specialising in working with twinless twins. She lectures on the subject of twin loss and has led a bereavement group for twins whose twin died in the 9/11 World trade Center disaster. She is presently on sabbatical writing a new book for grief counselors, which explores the unique treatment issues facing grieving twins. Ms Morgan is also the executive producer of two forthcoming documentaries on the myth of gene and the risks of genetic engineering. She is married and lives in New York State. She has three children and seven grandchildren. For more information visit: